Here's what to do when you realize your boss secretly hates you by Jacquelyn Smith on Jan 29, 2016, 1:27 PM Advertisement
 There are plenty of obvious — and not so obvious — signs your boss dislikes you. If you're getting the sense that's the case, you'll want to do everything you can to turn things around. "The relationship between you and your boss is likely the most important work relationship you can cultivate, so it's worth spending intentional time and effort building trust and fostering a good relationship," says Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of "The Humor Advantage." If your boss doesn't like you, it can negatively affect almost every aspect of your work and your overall happiness. "You may be unfairly passed over for promotions or raises; miss out on important assignments; never receive fair feedback; or be subjected to an atmosphere of resentment and distrust ultimately leading to increased levels of stress that eventually force you to search for a new job. It can also reflect poorly on your performance reviews and mean that you miss out on getting a fair referral when you move on to another job," Kerr explains. But know that building trust and maintaining respect with your boss isn't about being a "suck up" or "cloying sycophant," he says. "It's about earning their respect. It's about being true to yourself and being authentic. And it's not about becoming best buddies with your boss." Also keep in mind that there are terrible bosses out there who are bullies and rule through intimidation and fear. "In these cases, you may never win and you need to realize that the best thing you can do is to not compromise your own integrity and principles and move on to a better work situation," Kerr says. Here's what to do if you think your boss secretly hates you: SEE ALSO: 21 signs your boss secretly hates you  Remember that disagreement is not the same as hatred. Ask yourself if you truly believe your boss genuinely dislikes you, or if they simply don't agree with all of your ideas. If you're fairly certain it's the former, follow the steps below. But if it's the latter, "try to embrace a difference of opinion with the idea that you'll learn something, and do your best to not take the opposing side as a personal attack," suggests Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of "Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job."
Get a reality check from others. If you think you're being singled out by your manager and are "hated," check in with a trusted colleague who does like you to get their opinion. "They may tell you differently: that this is how the 'culprit' operates with everyone. Or, you may be vindicated, which gives you a green light to speak up," says Taylor. "But be sure to keep the conversation between you and trusted colleague discreet."
Be proactive. It's wise to check in with colleagues — but know that if you believe or feel in your gut that there's a problem, there probably is, Taylor says. "It doesn't really matter whether your boss really likes you or not. If you're sitting around worrying about the relationship and it's affecting your productivity, then you should absolutely address it," she explains. "And your instincts are probably right, anyway. Your boss may have too much on their plate to address the issue, so it behooves you to try and resolve it so you can produce stellar results. Discontentment festers — it won't be solved by inertia and stalemate."
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