Instant Alert: 9 common passive-aggressive work emails and how to neutralize each of them to still get what you want

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9 common passive-aggressive work emails and how to neutralize each of them to still get what you want

by Rachel Premack on Aug 30, 2018, 12:14 PM

woman sad annoyed text worried upset

  • Workplace emails might give you a headache.  
  • And, if you have passive-aggressive coworkers, having to electronically communicate with them might make emails all the more stressful.  
  • Adobe found the nine most-hated passive-aggressive email phrases in a recent survey. Business Insider asked a social worker and a psychologist how to respond to deescalate the situation.

 

If that snippy coworker is being passive-aggressive in an email (again!), resist the urge to send an equally snarly response. 

"The goal of the passive-aggressive person is to get someone else to visibly act out the anger that they have been concealing," social worker Signe Whitson, author of "The Angry Smile," told Business Insider. "Any time their covertly hostile email is responded to with overt hostility, the passive aggressive person succeeds."

Don't fight fire with fire. If you do, you're just falling into the passive-aggressive person's trap. 

Instead, Dr. Neil J. Lavender, author of "Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job," said you should focus on what you need to do to complete the task at hand, rather than "majoring in the minors."

"If the email is requesting you to turn in a report, then turn it in. If you need to return a phone call, then return the phone call," Lavender told Business Insider. "Don’t get 'mired in the minutia.'"

Adobe found the nine most-hated passive-aggressive email phrases in a recent survey. Below, take a look at some key phrases you can use to diffuse the situation when one of those emails lands in your inbox.

SEE ALSO: 11 signs your boss is passive aggressive

'Not sure if you saw my last email'

With 25% of workers saying this is the most annoying email phrase, "Not sure if you saw my last email" was by far the most disliked phrase in Adobe's survey.

Lavender suggested beginning your note with, simply, "Thank you, I did receive your last email and..."



'Per my last email'

Whitson recommended leading your response with an equally brief, "Thanks for the reminder."



'Per our conversation'

This might be a sign that your worker is trying to create a paper trail from your in-person talks.

"A simple, 'Thanks for the recap' will go a long way in keeping a friendly workplace and rising above someone else’s covert anger," Whitson said.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider


 
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